But why?

I have a perspective I guess? From what my brief diagnoses tell me, a somewhat neurodivergent one. One that can’t handle trying to share a perspective on ‘Social Media’ anymore, in context poor snippets that trigger reactions, that promote engagement, which creates revenue… and lets those reactions wind ourselves up into some really insane consequences.

Looking at you Q Shaman (by no means exclusively).

My anxiety just can’t take it no more.

This is a spilling of some of the tangled threads that knot up my brain and leave me writing an about page in the bathroom at 1:00am, on a work night no less.

It’s my hope that somewhere in there, is a glimmering thread that contains or promotes some critical thought.

That maybe something of value can come from my great, amazing, fucked up, but-over-all-still-good (I think) journey, and some of the reflections on it.

No expectations. I will always welcome well reasoned arguments or criticisms that may open my eyes to different perspectives – but no one owes me anything here, and so I expect no audience, and will consider this a void I’m yelling into until notified otherwise.

I intend no harm – if you feel that’s a risk, reach out – I’ve been blind before.

Our History

Ready for it?

Another perspective from a cis mostly hetero white dude. **

‘Mostly’ hetero, because I have to acknowledge that I have a history of making out with men (and other gender diverse folks) that I find really incredibly attractive for a variety of reasons.
I also grew up in a home that was likely more homophobic than I remember (I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, yay trauma – what I do remember does not look good for being LGBTQ+ friendly…)
So for one reason or another – I have no idea what, if any, is my queer identity!

I also spent a decade living alone, and pretty emotionally stunted – working on trying to deal with a lot of the more, what I would call ‘toxic’, traits I’d picked up along my journey….

Why did I share that? I really don’t have a good reason – but the best I can rationalize is that I want to give some insight that I maybe have a complex relationship with who I am – and embrace the privilege that comes with how I spent most of my life, and can’t quite place what my relationship with some of the things the world around me hasn’t always accepted is…
That’s a good enough summary of the history of this human’s journey right? All makes sense?
Perfect.

*If that resembles you, you may be annoyed by that sentence based on some of the stuff I was witnessing before exiting social media. White cis dudes apparently hate to be called white cis dudes.

And I can’t blame you. There was a point in my life where my perspective was far from what it is today, and was way too comfortable repeating things I plan to never repeat again. Now I use language that has helped me grow, by offering me criticisms, from people who have good reason to be critical of folks that look like me. So I try to use that language to reflect where I’ve found opportunities for growth.

I hope to talk about some of that stuff, and if it makes you uncomfortable – please feel free to bail out now. If it makes you uncomfortable, but curious – I hope you’ll check it out, and maybe see some opportunities for yourself too, or maybe there can be some good conversations.

It’s a blog about my overthinking – I’ll always take good new thinking nuggets.