I sometimes question the things I say out loud – worried that I may have said something that offends someone, or crosses a boundary, or I missed how it could be taken in another context – and possibly be harmful.
I lied.
I *often* question the things I say out loud for one or more of those reasons.
Sometimes I think that reason is, I want to just deflate tension. I want to just take whatever the thing in the middle of the room that we all have to deal with is, and just take the wind out of its sails.
The problem is – I think I do this in the form of – “Off handed comments”
I believe there is likely an art to them.
I’m not sure it’s worth the risk in trying to master the art – maybe better to find a better filter.
Alas, they still slip out.
And the intent is pretty consistent – we can all see how absurd this thing is right??? This is such an extreme – that clearly this should never be an every day thing for people to encounter…. okay – let’s carry on and do what needs be done.
But there are times when I know even not to make an off-handed comment.
I think about the first time I met a young person in their teens who disclosed to me using heroin via the jugular. Clearly that must be fucking absurd right?
And I’m sure a lot of people would say, “you’re talking about a kid injecting drugs in their neck, I could see how you might call that absurd…”
And I’d say, I haven’t given you enough context.
Because in that moment I had to do what needs be done.
And in that moment I had a job to do, and also some things not to do.
My job was not to be reactive. Not to judge.
My job was to ask careful questions, respecting boundaries
My job was to offer information, promoting safety
My job was to make sure these young people had the information to keep themselves safe with the behaviour that I have no right to stop them from engaging in.
That’s the short version. But that doesn’t sound absurd right?
That should just be pretty reasonable, shouldn’t it?
What’s sometimes absurd to me – is that in a city as big as the one I live in, in a country with so much wealth, how is it, that I am standing here having this conversation with this young person? How is there no home for them to safely return to?
How is it not the only time I would have to ask myself those questions?
How is it, that in so many places, there is no resource for young people to go to get that information?
And instead may never know about other choices.
Other opportunities.
Places with people that will care regardless of whether or not the person wants to change their use right now, and will continue to offer the support when wanted.
I mean, there has to be something absurd about that in comparison??
People need and deserve better than our offhanded comments – and maybe sometimes we need to sit with that tension to remember how much work there is to do.
Right?
2 MUCH THINK 2 SLEEP 